Kids may say the darndest things, but parents post about them in the funniest ways.
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Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents across social media platforms like X, Threads and Bluesky to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch.
“Mommy🤨Look what I found in your book!”
— BC🕯️🧺 (@BeckyTheChicken) August 12, 2026
It was my bookmark.
‘Mom, my armpits are watering.’
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) August 10, 2026
-my 8yo who forgot the word ‘sweating’
My 10yo just told me he wants a sandwich, but not yet. He’s calling it a soonwich. 10/10 no notes
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 9, 2026
My daughter just asked if she could change her name to Matilda. This is notable to me because she has made similar requests four times now- Aoife, Aurora, Hyacinth, and now Matilda. Which, including her actual name, completes the top 5 names I had chosen for her. 💀
— rue🌿 (@Ruesavatar) August 8, 2026
Thought I was just gonna drop my kid off at a birthday party and leave. He wanted me to stay. When I mentioned not wanting to be with my parents all the time at his age he said, “I’m having a different childhood than you.”
— ꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ (@Gabbrielxzn) August 8, 2026
Gf couldn’t find her laptop and finally called daycare to ask our 3 year old and he said, “It was on the bed and I wanted to jump on the bed so I put it under the dresser where no one would step on it.” 🥹
— Sunk Cost Pharisee (@Liamjsm) August 12, 2026
My contribution to Children’s Birthday Party Discourse is that crockpot pulled pork is a cheap and easy way to feed a crowd and also completely inappropriate to serve at a Peppa Pig themed 3rd birthday party.
— Alison Somin (@AlisonSomin) August 9, 2026
My toddler: mommy?
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) August 9, 2026
Me: yeah?
Toddler: I love you.
Me: I love you too!
Toddler: I WASNT TALKING TO YOU!
“Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings”
Ok, well, every time I step on a lego, my kids learn a new swear wordRead more Harry Enten Spots 1 Issue Uniting Democrats And Republicans: ‘It’s Electoral Poison’
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 10, 2026
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