Kids may say the darndest things, but parents post about them in the funniest ways.
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Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents across social media platforms like X, Threads and Bluesky to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch.
My daughter asked me what games I played on the tablet when I was a kid, and I told her I used to yell into a fan to sound like a robot.
— Fav (@Favwontmiss) August 26, 2026
If your wife is sad because you just dropped your kid off at college it may require something drastic to cheer her up. I just suggested we go look for a new fall wreath.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 23, 2026
Found out my 8yo doesn’t know what quicksand is. He asked me about “that sand that you can sink in”
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 26, 2026
What are they even teaching in schools these days
Reacher, but he travels the country attending little league games and beating the dog shit out of parents who get out of pocket.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 23, 2026
I asked my kids to grade my parenting. I got all A’s and one incomplete. My 11yo gone say “you doing good now but I gotta see how imma turn out”.
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— Princess (@themultiplemom) August 27, 2026
Savannah College of Art and Design tour update and an editorial on New Englanders visiting the South:
— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) August 22, 2026
My daughter reports that she likes the school a lot but, “The friendly people are really off-putting.”
My 2yo just dumped every shape out of the bucket, sighed ‘whew, what a long day at work,’ sorted them all back into the correct holes then picked up the bucket and walked off. So my question is where do I apply for this job?
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) August 25, 2026
Note to parents: asking your teen to use the dishwasher does not imply that they will first confirm the load is dirty. I know this now.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 25, 2026
The parenting books won’t prepare you for this, but one day you will need to have an entire cabinet dedicated to water bottles.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 26, 2026
You know what goes well with my son’s college tuition payment?
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 26, 2026
Vodka.
Today my daughter asked if she could get added to a group chat with a bunch of 5th graders so I did the only reasonable thing I could think of and told her she could give my cell phone number to get added to the group chat
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— Sara Mauskopf (@sm) August 27, 2026
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