Kids may say the darndest things, but parents post about them in the funniest ways.
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Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents across social media platforms like X, Threads and Bluesky to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch.
On the way to pre-k, daughter explains that she’s nicer at school, but only because she likes her teacher a little better than she likes me, and that’s only because her teacher is prettier than me. BUT! She emphasizes she still LOVES me more.
— Megan Fritts (@freganmitts) September 15, 2026
🙂
Just got an early morning message from my wife:
— Ray Nothstine (@RayNothstine) September 16, 2026
My three-year-old colored himself red with a marker in the car because he wants to look like he got attacked by a shark for picture day.
i would say the most fun part about being pregnant is that i enjoy complaining and this is the most socially sanctioned to complain i’ve ever been in my life. people will even suggest topics for me to complain about. “do you have reflux” YES INDEED – AND LET ME ELABORATE
— lily (@lil_mermaid) September 16, 2026
My daughters friend wanted to know why I have the @netflix logo in my car pic.twitter.com/DFpjz1r9fH
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— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 14, 2026
10yo: who’s your lawyer?
— Julia Gulia (@JuliaJuliagulia) September 15, 2026
Me: ?
10yo: I thought grown ups all have a lawyer
Me: I don’t really have enough legal problems to need one regularly. But I’d call [friend] probably
10yo: well what if I had that kind of legal problems…. Could you like, call him for me?
one year later and my son — who has absolutely zero ties to the city of philadelphia — remains steadfast that he’s an eagles fan https://t.co/mSJNdqSOCb
— will defries (@willdefries) September 13, 2026
It’s true I often make my 4yo a snack plate while he watches a show, but I hadn’t realized it was becoming a predicable thing.
— Shannon Loys (@shannonical) September 13, 2026
He’s sitting watching Little Bear and whispering to himself: “I wonder what special snack I’m going to get” 🥺😆
My kids are playing sandwich shop and my 5yo is going on and on about his kids and how they love spicy sandwiches. You think you know someone and all of a sudden you realize you’ve never met their kids.
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— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) September 15, 2026
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