32 Of The Funniest Tweets From Couples This Week (July 28-Aug 3)

Relationships are full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Somehow, couples on X, Bluesky and Threads continue to find humor in the minutiae of being in love.

Every week, we round up the funniest posts from people on those platforms. Scroll down to read the latest batch:

@citysage/Threads

@elimccann.bsky.social/Bluesky

@beforethecoffin/Threads

@aaronious_2025/Threads

@_no_this_is_brandi/Threads

@orionzbelt4/Threads

@hanhgiadao/Threads

@not_bryanna/Threads

@alittlesparrow/Threads

I told my wife saw Bo Jackson at the airport and she said “the cartoon horse?”
— Collie Tyrrell (@columtyrrell) August 2, 2026

my boyfriend is ABSOLUTELY REFUSING to do this sex position where he sits at the piano and plays a song about me and i lie on the bed and shed a single perfect tear
— 🎮 (@foreeeeeal) August 1, 2026

my husband has been hitting the skate park at 5:30am lately. he says it’s real millennial dad hours

just a half-dozen old guys carving the bowl in full knee+elbow pads, avoiding the youth crowds and not having to worry about getting sunburned
— lia (@tallsnail) August 1, 2026

Asking my wife if we can do it “Chicago style” tonight
— Math Liker 🇹🇲 🇿🇲 (@gunkshake) August 2, 2026

@meggerzv/Threads

@thorbenson.bsky.social/Bluesky

Working from home is walking downstairs to get another Diet Coke while my wife battles my unruly children. pic.twitter.com/ZSIUzufeQ6
— Kyle Harrison (@kwharrison13) July 30, 2026

my husband goes “don’t get me wrong i love your maximalist aesthetic, i just never thought i’d be at urgent care because one of your decorative wall tambourines fell on my head and possibly concussed me”
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— dana donnelly (@danadonnelly) August 1, 2026

Wife and I are born in the same year but she’s a few months younger.
She sends me this every time it’s my birthday. pic.twitter.com/A78ex83Y13
— Hedgebrush (@hedgebrush) August 2, 2026

I’m building up the courage to ask my wife what we’re doing this weekend knowing full well she probably told me more than a dozen times.
— Douglas A. Boneparth (@dougboneparth) August 1, 2026

@nelfsdsw/Threads

@meesowcorny/Threads

My husband: what time is the thing at the thing

Me:

My husband:

Me: I would like to buy a noun
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 30, 2026

My husband got the diarrhea lettuce bug and now I’m mad he’s gonna lose weight and not me.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) July 30, 2026

My husband is on vacation while I am back to work. I’m so excited to have a housewife.
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— your other mom (@difficultpatty) August 1, 2026